"Dear 20-year-old me"
- Little Missus
- Feb 5, 2021
- 3 min read
Updated: Apr 19, 2022
A few days ago a dear Australian friend of mine recommended a podcast and after listening to this specific episode I couldn't be more grateful.
This episode (link posted below) "Dear 20-year-old me" delves into the lessons that can be learned in our 20's but aren't because we're too young and naïve to take a step back and look to that bigger picture. Also, it definitely shouldn't be expected of us to know these things because they're part of life's lessons granted at these young ages - without the lessons, we don't really learn at all.
The podcast is separated into three sections -
1) Relationships
2) Friendships
3) Self
Here I will be giving short summaries of each section and the parts which stood out to me and caught my ear.
1) Relationships
Something we 20-year-olds should know is that there is absolutely no timeline in relationships. There is no such thing as wrong or right times within a relationship. The two partner need to find what works for them as a unit and build on that. One of the most destructive things one can do for their relationship (and themselves) is compare.
"People will forget what you said. People will forget what you did. But they will never forget the way you made them feel." - Maya Angelo
Our actions are louder than our words. We need to learn to take things on at face value - stop making excuses for people!
Another important part of relationships is communication. Communicating what we need is sometimes looked down-upon because it's deemed as being needy - and how could anyone actually need someone else? (sarcasm)
But of course we need! Humans need connection, *human* connection. It's one of the main pillars for leading a happy life - relationships and connection. I think that in this generation we have become better at communicating what we need whether it is attention, a hug, space or a pick-me-up. Whatever that need is, it's essential to express it.
Some quotes that stood out to me:
"You can let yourself see a future with the person but don't expect it"
"Identify your insecurities before - it may remove the blame and help understand or prevent argument." (This is situational, of course, but important to differentiate between reasons for arguments)
*** "Know when you're being a dick!" Eliminate your pride and ego, it will ruin your relationship. Know how to hold yourself accountable. ***
2) Friendships
"A friend for a reason, a season, or a lifetime"
I think that a characteristic of being twenty is being social - knowing that you have a social life, have people to count on, have fun with. But we sometimes forget the concept of quality>quantity.
So what is a friend?
A friend is somebody who has a genuine investment in your life and cares.
The people who uplift you and want to watch you thrive are the ones you should be keeping around. The ones who make you feel good fleetingly may serve you when on a night out but may not be your most trustworthy friend - and that's okay!
Quoted: "Friendship breakups are okay!"
Not all friends serve the same purpose but it's important to identify when a "friend" starts to serve no or a bad purpose in your life. That's when you know it's time to cut them loose.
I don't believe in cutting people out. I do believe though in cutting down when a friendship takes a toxic turn. That "cutting down" will force you to invest in yourself which brings me to the last part...
3) Self Love
"Your physical space mirrors your internal space."
You turn into a product of what you surround yourself by - happy people, you will be happy, successful people, you will aim for success and achieve.
The greatest investment you can make is in yourself. If you don't care about yourself nobody else will (harsh but truthful.) You have to listen to yourself, your body and what it needs and know what to feed yourself with.
The road to self love starts with making hard decisions...
The ORANGE analogy:
You have 12 oranges and 4 baskets.
WORK FRIENDS FAMILY YOURSELF
If you had to assign those 12 oranges to these 4 baskets where would your oranges sit? Let this indicate to you where your current priorities of and if they sit comfortably with you - if not then take this as an opportunity to start making a change and investing time in other things.
Link to the podcast:
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